#icebucketchallenge

An unusually topical post this one, but it raises some bigger issues beyond the momentary craze. I’ll begin with a personal confession, which is also a relatively unusual thing for this blog: I haven’t watched a single ice bucket challenge. And I don’t live under a rock or anything. I'm on the internet all the time, and I've seen dozens of different links every day for the last forever (or however long this thing has been going on now). So why? Well read on.

I can’t take away from the whole idea in terms of what it has achieved. A lot of money has been raised for a worthy cause and that is a good thing. But is this how we do it? Is this how human kindness to other humans works now? I think there’s something a bit disturbing about the ice bucket challenge and the extent to which it’s taken off.  In order to alleviate suffering, apparently someone else has to suffer, because other people find that amusing. That being the most successful basis for charity says something about us. And it’s not something good.

I've never liked watching people put themselves through challenges, ordeals etc. and although a bit of cold water is pretty minor as ordeals go, it is still someone doing something unpleasant to themselves as a public spectacle. I think most people would get the feeling I'm talking about if you made it something that was much more of an ordeal, like people whipping themselves on camera. It’s not the extent of the suffering and discomfort, it’s the choice to needlessly go through it, and it’s the fact that people are enjoying watching others do so.

Let’s look at the choice to go through it first (I’ll come to the audience’s response in a bit). I imagine that people going into the ice bucket challenge fall somewhere on a spectrum from dreading it but doing it under peer pressure, to looking forward to it because it’s an opportunity to show off. Wherever you fall on that spectrum, the reason to do it (and the reason I expect some people will say they actually end up enjoying it) seems to be overcoming the challenge. So it’s the fact that it’s unpleasant but that you go through it anyway that makes you feel braver, like you've achieved something, and like you've made a sacrifice for a greater good.

These are all admirable things to feel, and they are completely necessary in some experiences of suffering. If you jump into a lake to save someone from drowning, you will get all of these things from the suffering it costs you. But that is totally different because the suffering is directly necessary. In the case of the ice bucket challenge, it is utterly needless. In a world already packed full of needless suffering, adding to it even a jot seems like madness. If you really want to suffer to help someone else, volunteer with a charity to do actual work on the ground somewhere. (I realise that won’t work for ALS research unless you happen to be a highly specialised scientist, but there are plenty of other charities, e.g. homeless charities, where practically anyone can make a difference).

Why don’t people put their suffering/minor discomfort to better use in these ways? Because their mates wouldn't gather round to laugh at them. It wouldn't be a spectacle. I'm not going to condemn the arrogance there; I think most people like being centre of attention in a positive way sometimes, and that doesn't seem inherently bad. It’s what they become centre of attention for that I'm arguing against. So let’s come to why people choose to watch and enjoy someone – often someone they know and care about – chucking freezing cold water over their head.

The most common reaction I have heard from audiences is laughter. I don’t get it. That doesn't make it bad; there are lots of jokes I don’t think are funny that aren't thereby some kind of travesty. No-one made me the humour police. But the reason I don’t find it funny makes me find it a bit disturbing that others do. No-one laughed (quite rightly) when this puppy got dunked: http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/sick-ice-bucket-challenge-thugs-4095774 I realise it’s crucially different that the puppy has no choice and doesn't understand why it’s happening, but I'm not sure why those things should make it funnier when it’s a person. Go back to the analogy with whipping: Is someone whipping themselves funnier than someone whipping a puppy? No; they’re just nasty in different ways. This is way down on the scale of suffering, but I don’t see why it isn't in principle the same.

At first I was only mildly uncomfortable with this. I would rather not watch the videos than watch them, and others disagree. But as the campaign has snowballed, it has become progressively more disturbing. The public apparently has an insatiable thirst for this kind of stuff. I don’t think that paints a very good picture of us as a society. It’s a relatively minor thing in itself. So minor that the huge amount of money raised probably makes it worth it. But if we are the kind of people who like this so much, what else would we enjoy? Who are we that this is our idea of entertainment, and our most effective route to encouraging charity?

So if you have an urge to take on a bracing challenge and feel the warm glow of helping others, then good for you. Go out and challenge yourself by actually helping people, not by doing something trivial and needless. And if you want to make your mates laugh, also good for you. Tell them a funny joke. And if you want to watch something funny on YouTube, find a cat video or something. Stop watching ice bucket challenges. You’re getting hooked on the suffering of others, and however minor that suffering, that just isn't healthy.

Fighting fit

It’s not that controversial to say you should keep your body in good shape because you owe it to yourself. But the problem with that is that you get to decide what you owe to yourself. So if you don’t want to keep fit, that’s entirely your choice. Sounds ok? I'm not so sure.

It’s part of the modern liberal attitude to say that you have completely free choice as an individual, and, while I often agree with that line, it conveniently ignores any obligations you might have to others. Most of us don’t live in total isolation, and that is a very good thing. But it brings with it, among the many advantages, certain responsibilities.

Consider yourself as a person who likes to eat unhealthy food and not exercise (whether or not you actually are like that). If you want to continue to live in that way, it seems right to say you should be able to. But then consider yourself as the friend, relative or partner of such a person. See what I mean? There are two things that are particularly hard about being in this situation, so let’s have a look at those.

The first is that it’s hard to watch someone you care about engaging in self-destructive behaviour. Watching them chip away at their health and their future little by little, all the while making excuses to themselves that it’s not that bad, they deserve this little treat, they’ll do better from tomorrow, or from next week…It’s a hard thing to see.

The second is that, if someone is living like they don’t want to live for very long, it feels like they don’t want to live for very long with you. This is especially true if the person in question is your partner or parent, but it is true to some extent for anyone you are close to. Now this is of course a very selfish way of looking at another’s suffering. I wouldn't dream of saying, for example, that someone suicidal should have a bit more concern for their friends and family. But neither would I condemn those friends and family for feeling angry with them; it is a natural response. The same is true here, albeit to a lesser extent. It isn't as though someone living unhealthily is deliberately disregarding their loved ones’ feelings, but that does not mean that those feelings don’t exist.

So, as someone who is close to someone who is living unhealthily, you feel depressed and angry, helpless that you can’t change that, and scared of the future with a loved one who might become increasingly ill, then no longer be there for you at all. Now go back to thinking from the point of view of the person living unhealthily. Now you know how those around you feel. Does it still seem like it’s completely fine to choose to live this way?

As I said, I would not dream of condemning a suicidal person for not thinking about their friends and family. They usually do think about them a great deal, but it is part of the nature of most of the situations and medical conditions that lead to suicidal thoughts that you can’t rationally take note of how much others need and care about you, and choose to change accordingly. In some cases, I believe that the same may be true about an unhealthy lifestyle. I am no expert, but there are health problems and drug regimes that increase appetite, or make exercise difficult or impossible, or both. There may well also be psychiatric conditions such as food addiction. People in the grip of these tragedies are not the people I am talking about.

I am talking about people who have made a choice to live an unhealthy lifestyle in the belief that it is exactly that – their choice – and that as such, no-one else has a say. My argument is that these people are failing to take into account the extent to which others depend on them and/or care about them.

This still feels a bit uncomfortable. It seems to give other people a say in what you do with your body. Do they get to choose what you wear, who you have sex with, whether you get a tattoo? Don’t worry; I absolutely don’t think that your friends and relatives get to choose those things for you! So what’s the difference?

Well, none of those things will result in increasing disability, followed by premature death, while an unhealthy lifestyle may well do. Your responsibilities to others do not include being a different person than you are. You can be there for them, both emotionally and in more practical ways, regardless of how you dress, etc. If your choices in those respects make them unhappy, then so be it. Those things are a part of your identity; they don’t have the right to ask you to change.

Can’t an unhealthy lifestyle be a part of your identity in much the same way? Well yes, but not all things that are a part of your identity are ok. Being a serial killer could be a part of who you are too, but other people definitely have a right to want you to be different in that case! Things that have a destructive effect on others are not traits that you have exclusive ownership of, and your health is one of those things. The people you form close relationships with have a say in how those relationships play out, and that is profoundly affected by your physical condition. So, to the extent that you are able to control it, you should keep yourself as well as you can for your loved ones, as well as for yourself.

I started out by saying that you owe it to yourself to stay in good shape, and I still think that is of primary importance. Your relationship with yourself is one of the most (if not the most) important relationships you will ever have, after all! However, for the vast majority of people, you also have important relationships to others. You not only owe it to yourself to stay reasonably fit, but you owe it to them too.